Christmases When You Were Mine
by Christabelle23
Summary: It had been two months since they had broken up. Two months since her world had crashed down around her as he whispered three little words before walking away. Now as she sat in her childhood bedroom on the first day of Christmas break she couldn't help but feel the tears well up in her eyes as she saw the pictures of the two of them from the past two years.


_I have reposted this story onto this account from my old one TeamJacobBitch. I no longer use that account so I decided to move my old stories from there to here. _

_**This is just a little idea I came up with one day. **_

_**FYI…I know Lily and James didn't start dating until their seventh year but for the sake of the story lets all pretend that they began to date before Christmas in their fifth year.**_

_**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own The Hp Characters, Or The Song **__Christmases When You Were Mine__** By **__Taylor Swift._

_Edited: 6/13_

"_Lily, can we talk?" James asked coming up behind the red headed girl where she sat upon the little bank beside the Black Lake._

_Lily looked up at him, a huge smile lighting up her face and making her green eyes sparkle. "What's up James?"_

_When James didn't return the smile or reply, Lily should have known that something was up but when she found herself lost in his eyes she didn't notice much else._

_James ran his hand through his messy black hair, a move that Lily knew meant he was nervous, and then he began to speak. "I don't know how else to say this so I'm going to just come out and say it."_

_Lily's look of adoration quickly turned to one of horror as she stared up at him. She knew what he was going to say before he even said, and her heart had already began to break._

"_It's over Lily." _

_Before Lily could even reply, James had turned and walked away from her toward the castle. The setting sun illuminated the whole way across the grounds allowing Lily to see the slump in his shoulders as he continued on his trek._

_The tears were falling steadily from her eyes, but she didn't even realize it as she stared at the place where the boy had walked away. When the rain began to fall around her in sheets, Lily finally broke out of her gaze. _

_She succumbed to the tears and then couldn't reign them in. Her body shook with the sobs that wracked through her, making her wrap her thin pale arms around legs that she pulled against her chest._

"_Lily?" The girl looked up as the voice broke through her sobs. Her best friend Hestia was standing there, black hair blowing in the wind and soaked with rain. "Lily you need to come inside! You're going to get sick sweetie!"_

_Hestia, who was stronger than Lily thanks to Quidditch and having an older brother, easily pulled Lily up from the ground and wrapped an arm around her waist._

"_He dumped me Hest." Lily sobbed. "James dumped me."_

"_I know honey," Hestia whispered softly back. "I know, but everything will be better eventually. But for now we have to get you inside and dried off."_

It had been a little over two months since they had broken up. Two months since her world had crashed down around her as he whispered three little words before walking away. Now as she sat in her childhood bedroom on the first day of Christmas holidays she couldn't help but feel the tears well up in her eyes once more. Seeing the pictures of the two of them from the past two years had made her begin to experience the pain all over again.

She took them all down and watched as they fluttered to the floor around her desk some landing face up and others face down, revealing or showing the love that had been there. Her heart ached at the familiar sight of his face.

_**Please take down the mistletoe  
Cause I don't wanna think about that right now  
Cause everything I want is miles away  
In a snow covered little town**_

Lily couldn't get the sight of the one and only James Potter out of her head as she walked down the stairs and saw the mistletoe hanging from the familiar white doorframe of the front door that had been there every Christmas for as long as she could remember.

"_Look Lils," James whispered to her as they stepped inside her little white house after returning from their trip to the grocery store. With one gloved hand he pointed above them at the little sprig of mistletoe that hung from the doorframe, and with the other he set down their few grocery bags._

"_Mistletoe," She said softly a smiling playing on her lips._

_He nodded, "You know what that means."_

"_Do I Mr. Potter?" Lily's green eyes held amusement as she turned and began to walk away from him._

_James reached out and grabbed her arm, turning her and pulling her flush against him. "I believe you do." He whispered before leaning in and kissing her lightly on the lips._

_Lily smiled into the kiss and her arms moved to wrap around his neck while his went to rest on her waist._

Shaking her head Lily went to make her way to the kitchen but upon spotting her Mum laughing and smiling with her older sister Petunia and the dreadful whale she called a boyfriend Vernon Dursley she turned at the last second and went into the living room instead.

_**My momma's in the kitchen, worrying about me**_

_**Season's greetings, hope you're well**_

Caroline Pitts-Evans had seen her daughter's retreating form and frowned as she stared at the place she had just stood. Ever since Hestia had owled them and told them about James breaking up with Lily for seemingly no reason, Caroline had been immensely worried about her youngest daughter.

The door bell rang and Caroline rushed to answer it revealing the next door neighbor's son who was visiting from America for the Holiday's.

"Season's greetings Mrs. Evans," He said just loud enough for Lily to hear in the living room as he handed Caroline a box of cookies and homemade treats from his mother.

"Thank you Derek," Caroline smiled at him in what she hoped was a kind way as her mind was still on Lily, "I trust you're all doing well."

Derek nodded and gave her another warm smile, "Yes ma'am. Now I must be going, more boxes to deliver. Tell the family Merry Christmas."

_**Well I'm doing alright  
If you were wondering  
Lately I can never tell**_

Lily laughed bitterly as she hugged the pillow she was holding tighter and looked out the large window that took up the majority of one whole wall in the living room. She watched as overly-cheerful Derek climbed into the little blue car that was idling in the driveway and then drove off down the street.

_**I know this shouldn't be a lonely time  
But there were Christmases when you were mine**_

Christmas Eve fast approached and Lily found herself getting dressed in a pair of dark skinny jeans and a dark green sweater. Both articles of clothing were some of her favorites because not only did they look good on her, but they were comfortable as well. Her hair was lying in loose barrel curls down her back, and her eyes were shimmering with gold shadow making them stand out and match the festive feel of the air.

She walked down the hall to the stairs where she could already hear the sounds of her family talking and laughing. When the whole bunch of Evans' and Pitts' family members gathered together, like they did for all the major holidays, it could get pretty loud and out of control.

_**I've been doing fine without you, really  
Up until the nights got cold**_

"_Lils, how are you really?" Hestia asked as the two girls walked up to their dorm one late night at the end of October._

"_I'm fine Hest," Lily reassured her best friend with a smile as they reached the door that lead to their room._

"_You better not be lying to me." Hestia looked deep into the emerald eyes that belonged to Lily._

_Lily laughed softly as she tried to keep the pain from her eyes but knowing Hestia had seen it anyway, "I'm doing better Hest. I really am."_

_Hestia sighed knowing her friend wasn't really fine, but she didn't want to push the subject so she let it drop._

_**And everybody's here, except you, baby  
Seems like everyone's got someone to hold**_

And well it had been getting easier. But now as Lily sat with her family, all smiling and laughing holding onto their loved ones she couldn't help but feel all alone.

Last year at almost exactly this time James had asked her to go for a walk with him. The two of them had disappeared for almost three hours, showing back up just in time for the late family dinner._****_

But for me it's just a lonely time  
Cause there were Christmases when you were mine

Lily bit back the sob that threatened to escape as she remembered that night. It had been the first night her and James had made love and she would cherish it forever. He had been so kind and gentle, worrying about making her first time memorable.

"_James where are we going?" Lily asked as she tripped once more over her feet thanks to the blindfold that covered her eyes._

"_We're here, so just hold on another couple seconds." James replied with a laugh._

_Lily heard a light creaking sound, before a gust of warmth enveloped her._

"_Merry Christmas Lils," James whispered in her ear at the same time as the blindfold fell from her eyes._

_A gasp escaped Lily's lips as she looked around at the little log cabin. The cabin contained a simple bed, couch, table, and a fireplace but nothing else._

"_What are we doing here James?" Lily asked with a twinkle in her eye as she stared up at her boyfriend._

"_Well on my birthday when you said you were ready to take the next step and I declined, I felt bad but I wanted to make it special. So if you still want to, that's the first part of your Christmas present." James was blushing slightly but still smiling down at Lily, adoration and love clear in his eyes._

_Lily sighed dreamily, "Of course I still want to James."_

_The two leaned in and their lips met in a mind numbing kiss that soon lead to other things and before they knew it, the teens were curled up under the blankets on the surprisingly comfortable bed with their bare skin pressing together.__****_

Merry Christmas everybody  
That'll have to be something I just say this year

She was dragged out of her thoughts when her cousin Amanda, who was the tender and innocent age of ten, came up to her.

"Merry Christmas Lily," She said with a huge smile as she handed her favorite cousin a homemade snowflake that was decorated with red and gold glitter and sequins.

"Merry Christmas to you too 'Manda," Lily said with a huge fake smile on her face. She watched as the little girl skipped away giving Petunia a similar snowflake that was pink and silver.

Lily couldn't help but remember last year when Amanda had given James a snowflake that was green and silver. The poor boy was slightly disgusted, but pretended to love it anyway just to make the little girl smile.

_**I'll bet you got your mom another sweater  
And were your cousins late again**_

"_Really James another sweater?" Charlus Potter teased the day before Christmas as his wife opened the box from their only biological son and pulled out a black cashmere sweater with gold inlays._

"_Oh hush Char," Dorea smiled as she looked at James who was holding Lily's small pale hand in his large tan one, "Its wonderful James." _

_James grinned broadly at his Mum, "Lily said you'd love it."_

_Dorea laughed as the sweet redhead beside her son blushed. She was glad the two of them were together finally, they were perfect together._

"_Oi! Enough lovey dovey looks, let's finish opening presents!" Sirius Black, James's best mate and surrogate brother, whined from his spot on the floor where he had two piles of presents sitting in front of him yet to be opened._

_Two hours later the Potters, Sirius and Lily were sitting in the same spots they had been earlier waiting for Dorea's cousins, who were already a half hour late, to join them so they could exchange more presents and then eat dinner._

"_Should we send one of the owls or maybe Sirius to try and find them?" Lily asked with an anxious look on her face as she looked back and forth between the other members of the room._

_Charlus laughed, "Lily don't be worried yet. They show up late every year."_

_**When you were putting up the lights this year  
Did you notice one less pair of hands  
**_

"_James what are we doing?" A fifteen year old Lily asked as her boyfriend of three months dragged her out of the magnificent Potter house on their first Christmas break as a couple._

"_We're hanging the Christmas lights!" James exclaimed excitedly as Sirius ran past them calling for them to hurry as he ran to meet up with Remus and Peter._

_All four of the marauders were here, apparently it was some sort of tradition for them to hang the lights at James's house together, without magic, and they had to have Lily's help this year since she was now an honorary 'marauderette'._

_Charlus Potter was waiting for them with several large boxes that upon closer inspection held tons of string lights and other light up Christmas decorations. _

"_I hope you're prepared to freeze and do a lot of climbing," Charlus gave Lily a pitying look while handing her a box full of lights._

"_How bad can it be?" Lily asked not knowing that in six hours she would still be out there helping the four teenage boys hang Christmas lights._

_**I know this shouldn't be a lonely time**_

"Lily where are you going?" Caroline asked as Lily pulled on her black pea coat and her red and gold striped scarf.

"For a walk," Lily said quietly as she opened the door, "I'll be back before dinner."

She walked down the street, taking the same path she and James had taken the year before when they had taken their escape for what James had called '_Phase One of the Best Christmas Ever'_/

Lily sat down on the bench that was alongside the lake were James had transfigured a tree into a log cabin for her surprise last Christmas. She didn't know why she had come back to this spot but that was where her feet had taken her so that was where she sat, trying not to cry.

_**But there were Christmases when I didn't wonder how you are tonight**_

She wondered what he was doing right now. "Oh James why?" She looked up at the sky and cursed quietly as she felt the tears sliding down her cheeks.

_**Cause there were Christmases when you were mine**_

Her eyes were closed so she didn't notice the boy approaching her silently until he had kneeled down in front of her and his gloved fingers began to wipe the tears from her eyes. She looked up startled.

"I don't know Lils," James Potter's hazel eyes stared into her emerald ones as he murmured softly, a tear of his own falling from his eye. "But I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I love you Lily I won't ever stop."_****_

You were mine

He wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace, and they breathed in each other's comforting scent as they cried into each other. Both knew that it wasn't going to be perfect, or easy, for awhile, but hoping that they wouldn't have any more Christmases when they had to worry about being apart.

_**So Whatcha Think? I Really Liked It….Haha!(:**_


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